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A Spiritual Light in the Darkness at Angkor Wat
Story and photos by James Michael Dorsey

After observing enigmatic Cambodian nuns weaving through the background of temples, a traveler connects with one by chance in an empty set of ruins in Angkor Wat.

Several years ago in a cave, in a ruin, in a Cambodian jungle, I spent less than an hour with a holy female hermit who has impacted my life to this day.

I have always considered my travels to be a learning process and have sought out those small crumbs on the path of enlightenment, dropped by those who preceded me, taking bits and pieces from each belief, and forging them into my own.

On my first trip to Cambodia, I spent much of my time deep in the jungles with Buddhist monks, most of whom welcomed me as a seeker, but I found many of them to be far more worldly than anticipated.

I had always seen women at the monasteries and ignorantly assumed them to be housekeepers or servants and only learned they were nuns through a very unique experience.

A local guide was driving me through the jungle to a remote temple when we were stopped by one of the numerous freelance soldiers left over from Khmer Rouge days. In the countryside of Asia there are more than a few of these guys, former military, down on their luck, who make their living shaking down people like me who venture a bit too far off the beaten path. I had just handed him some money when a tiny woman appeared, it seemed, from out of nowhere. She barely came up to my shoulder and had a shaved head, wore a white blouse, black drawstring pants, and was barefoot. Her milky eye was sightless, and her grin was missing a few teeth, but this did not stop her from thrusting her alms bowl between me and the startled soldier.

We were both taken off guard by her silent appearance I and fumbled for a couple bills that I dropped into her bowl while the soldier was apparently so ashamed of being caught in his actions towards me that he gave her part of the bribe I had just paid him. The woman turned and without saying a word, and disappeared into the jungle. As the soldier waved me on, he spat in her direction and said “Yiyay Chi” which I later found out was Khmer for nun. She was the first one I encountered.

The Buddhist Monks and Nuns of Cambodia

The jungles of Cambodia are filled with ornate shrines, massive stone edifices with larger-than-life stone-carved Buddhas, colorful prayer flags, incense burners and candles—all in danger of being reclaimed by the jungle. Each is manned by a praetorian guard of chattering monkeys, spitting cobras, colorful robed monks, and nuns. They dot the remote countryside, surviving off the largesse of trekkers and pilgrims, in the most unlikely places; small islands of beauty in a land devastated by 2,000 years of war.typeof __ez_fad_position!=’undefined’&&__ez_fad_position(‘div-gpt-ad-perceptivetravel_com-medrectangle-4-0’)

I spent long hours in conversation with the monks at these temples, often talking well into the night of all things both spiritual and temporal, and usually came away in awe of these simple jungle dwellers, most of whom had no formal education and yet were so fervent in their beliefs and happy in their lives as to make me question my own sense of purpose. I also noticed that during these times the nuns would fade into the background, sweeping, tending to candles, or incense, serving tea, but always busy with downcast eyes. They never looked in my direction.

I was told that most of them were either poor, or widows, and lacking the means to remain in the material world, had entered the spiritual one to build karma in their final years for the life that was to follow. I came to believe they might outnumber the monks, but, were simply overshadowed by the colorful robes and more outgoing personalities.typeof __ez_fad_position!=’undefined’&&__ez_fad_position(‘div-gpt-ad-perceptivetravel_com-banner-1-0’)

I began to seek them out, intentionally making eye contact and eventually gaining a slight smile from more than one, but whenever I tried to begin a conversation most of them would put a finger to their mouth and signal me to silence. This vow of silence told me they had no time to give to outside visitors.

Compared to the monks who for the most part wore civilian clothing on their free time, and liked to smoke cigarettes, and frequent local bars if only for sodas, the nuns seemed more focused on things spiritual. None of them passed along any revealing esoteric dogma, but I believe my attraction to them was born out of their simplicity and aura of serenity.

The Hermit Lady of Angkor Wat

In my travels throughout Cambodia, I had avoided going to Angkor, knowing it to be an anthill of tourists, surpassing even the Great Wall of China in popularity. Through a friends’ urging, I entered the complex early one morning before the tide of humanity, and alone, made my way to Prasat Bayan. This is the center of Angkor Thom, former capitol of the Khmer ruler Jayavarman VII, the Mahayana Buddhist king, a site famous for its 40 towering temples that held 216 gigantic carved stone faces.

I was wandering alone through one of mankind’s’ great artistic achievements, marveling at the craftsmanship that produced these monuments so long ago without modern technology, and musing about how one small section of just one face could be the entire life’s work of a single person. The Khmer carved stone like most people breathe, and they gave it a soul. The entire history of the Khmer civilization is preserved in stone at the Angkor complex, a gigantic hand- carved book for the world to read.

typeof __ez_fad_position!=’undefined’&&__ez_fad_position(‘div-gpt-ad-perceptivetravel_com-large-leaderboard-2-0’)That morning I watched a small girl climb the side of a temple face with a shawl full of fruit under her arm, and just before nearing the top, she disappeared. I waited and watched to see the girl emerge from somewhere on the rock face hidden to me from below, and when she reached the ground I asked what she was doing. She just pointed up and said, “The lady.”

That began the kind of day every traveler prays for, when an unexpected encounter changes all future memories of a place.

I began to make my way up the ancient stone wall, finding small makeshift altars along the way where people had left behind burned candles, offerings of food, and even a photo of what I assumed was a deceased relative. Suddenly, just above me, a tiny face peered over the edge. She had short white hair and an enigmatic Mona Lisa smile. I assumed she was a hermit nun. Her face was a roadmap of hard times and yet her age was indecipherable. Her smile radiated peace.

Cresting the ledge, I found her seated on a stone slab in a smoke-filled cell that most likely had been occupied for prayer and meditation for centuries. There was no furniture or bed, nor was there room for any. She was clothed all in muslin with a shawl over her shoulder, spotless in her closet-like cell. Her eyes touched me like fingers and passed onto me an overwhelming sense of being in the presence of more than an ordinary nun.

There have been times in my life when I have experienced an undeniable certainty that is inexpressible, and for lack of a more comprehensive term I have come to call that feeling faith. At that moment I was filled with it. Some use the word saint while others prefer enlightened; not feeling either of them to be sufficient, I wil say I had an awareness of a physical sensation that this was the most spiritually evolved person I had ever met.

I had visited holy hermits in a number of places around the world, some self- proclaimed, while others truly gave off an aura of sanctity, but all of them had been men. The lady patted the stone, and as I sat next to her she covered my hand with her own and I felt an energy enter my body I had not known, nor could I describe it, other than saying it was an all-pervading sense of wellbeing. Something beyond words came into me from her.

We sat in silence for an undetermined time as I was lost in my own serenity and when she finally lifted her hand from mine, I knew instinctively it was time to leave. We had not spoken as there was no need. I had received more from this woman in those few minutes than I had gained in a lifetime of wandering, though for more explanation than that I am simply not a gifted enough writer to impart it in words.

While I have no illusions of ever attaining her degree of spiritual enlightenment, there have been many troubled times in my life when this woman has returned to my thoughts at a needed moment, and I know it was by design, because time has not dimmed the feeling she gave me.

Perhaps there really are guardian angels, but I will not know for sure in this lifetime.

If they do exist, I met mine in a cave in Cambodia.

James Michael Dorsey is an explorer, author, and photographer who has traveled extensively in forty-some countries, mostly far off the beaten path. His primary interest is in documenting indigenous people in Asia and Africa. He is a fellow of the Explorers Club, and a member and former director of the Adventurers Club. See more at www.jamesdorsey.com.

Related Features:
Khmer Mozart in the Jungle – James Michael Dorsey
Learning to Walk Fully in Thailand – Luke Maguire Armstrong
Seeking Enlightenment at the Golden Rock – James Michael Dorsey
The Dharma Buddies of Auroville – Camille Cusumano

See other Southeast Asia Travel stories from the archives

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Read this article online at: https://www.perceptivetravel.com/issues/0921/cambodia.html

Copyright © Perceptive Travel 2021. All rights reserved.

Also in this issue:

Mexico City Mushroom Foraging Lessons by Lydia Carey
“Progress” in Colorado: A Visit and a Goodbye to a Rapidly Changing Place by Julia Hubbel
Dodging the Police in Turkmenistan’s Marble City by Stephen M. Bland
Travel Book Reviews by Susan Griffith

Books from the Author:

Buy Baboons for Lunch: And Other Sordid Adventures at your local bookstore, or get it online here:
Amazon

Buy Vanishing Tales from Ancient Trails at your local bookstore, or get it online here:
Amazon US
Amazon Canada
Amazon UK
Kobo

Buy Tears, Fear and Adventure at your local bookstore, or get it online here:
Amazon US
Amazon Canada
Amazon UK

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